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There's no guarantee it would have actually worked (heaven knows some people certainly tried), but if I could go back in time and be the one to make the speech, here's what I would have said.
Before you're ever going to win a woman's heart, you've got to deal with your own.
Get yourself into counseling, and while you're at it, do whatever it takes to be friends with an older, stable, married guy.
Be completely transparent with these mentors and with God, and ask for help in moving toward stability. Because part of what makes you so weird with women is the fact that you've got baggage that you're always subconsciously trying to hide.
I'm not saying that you've got to be fully mature to pursue a woman, or no man would ever get married.